Ataraxia is my (mid-)life (crisis)

One of my favourite movies is Lucky Number Slevin (2006), and if you haven't seen it yet, treat yourself by renting the DVD or downloading it or streaming it or whatever format works best for you: it's a blast of action and thought-provoking dialogue and gorgeous Josh Harnett, and twisty plot bits, and did I mention crazy action and Lucy Liu and Bruce Willis and, more and more and more. A special scene is when Slevin (Harnett) mentions that he has "ataraxia" as though it's a medical condition that afflicts him. I adore learning new words when watching Hollywood films (seems like an impossibility to expand my vocabulary when watching the celluloid trash, right?), and I really like it when the writer uses the word in such a way that makes me think about that new word and the impact it could have on my own life. I know, weird, right? Well, "ataraxia" is one of those words that hit me right between the eyes; as Slevin says, "It's a condition characterized by freedom from worry or any other pre-occupation really." Now, anyone who knows me understands the irony of that word having an impact in my life: I must be the worst worry-wart on Earth on my bad days, and almost every day I have an episode of the "crazies" as a friend calls them, where I worry needlessly and fretfully about something that is probably irrelevant. [That same friend came up with the perfect use of parentheses for the title of this blog entry -- THANKS!]
In philosophy (yes, I know that link is to Wikipedia, but it seems like a pretty decent and short entry) "ataraxia" means different things to different types of philosophers. Maybe I should become an Epicurean, since they advocated avoiding politics and vexatious people in the search for the state of non-worry known as ataraxia, and, since I entered my middle years, I am all about avoiding politics and vexatious people.
Back to the way Slevin talks about this condition, as though it is a disorder, a state of being that most people would call an affliction that needs treatment, or correction. Who could possibly function well in this 21st-century world while in a state of non-worry, a tranquility of mind that could reach the level of yogi-ness but in a person going about their normal average North American lifestyle. I want ataraxia to be my life, after 40 years of worry, worry, worry, which got me nowhere and only gave me too many moments of psychological agony. Now, when I think about achieving this state of being, it almost makes me worry that I cannot possibly achieve something like that unless I go live in a cave, away from all the modern crazy speedy lifestyle choices that we make every day, and that worry turns the search for ataraxia into my mid-life crisis, hence the title for this blog. I think now, in this year, this fascinating and enriching 2010, that if I can actually have moments within each day where I experience even briefly "a state of freedom from disturbance of mind" that I will have achieved what I am seeking, even if it's just for that moment. Ah, that last bit made me feel better, wait, I'm having one of those moments
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I see after searching a bit on the great wonder that is the internet that "ataraxia" resonates with other people too. Here's a funny comic that defines the term well: http://ataraxiatheatre.com/2008/06/05/what-is-ataraxia/
I think that the modern philosopher Bobby McFerrin sums it up best: "Don't worry, be happy now."